The Four Agreements

So much of our suffering isn’t caused by life itself, but by the stories we tell ourselves about it. We live by a set of unconscious agreements that create needless conflict, both internally and externally. The Toltec wisdom of The Four Agreements offers a simple, yet profound, new operating system for your mind—one based on freedom and self-love.

Here are the four promises to make to yourself.

1. Be Impeccable with Your Word

Your word is the power you have to create. It is a seed. With it, you can create a beautiful dream or you can destroy everything around you.

This is especially true for the words you use on yourself. Your mind doesn’t question what you tell it; it simply believes. If you tell yourself you are not smart enough, not strong enough, not worthy, your mind will accept it as truth. To be impeccable is to use your words with love and truth, starting with the way you speak to yourself. It is the first and most fundamental step to reclaiming your power.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When someone is angry or unkind to you, they are revealing their own inner struggles. It is never about you.

When you understand this, you gain a kind of immunity. The opinions and actions of others no longer have the power to wound you. This single agreement can save you from countless grudges, conflicts, and needless emotional pain. It allows you to interact with others from a place of compassion rather than reaction.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

We have a tendency to invent entire stories in our minds when we don’t have all the facts. We see a friend who doesn’t say hello and assume they are angry with us. We see someone driving fast and assume they are a reckless person. We rarely consider that our friend might be lost in thought, or that the driver might be in an emergency.

Assumptions create misunderstanding and drama. The solution is simple: have the courage to ask questions. Seek clarity instead of creating confusion. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Clear communication can dissolve a problem before it even begins.

4. Always Do Your Best

This agreement is not about perfection. It’s about understanding that your “best” will change from moment to moment. Your best when you are healthy is different from your best when you are sick. Your best when you are rested is different from your best when you are tired.

It simply means that in any given situation, you give it all you have—no more, no less. As the story goes, Michelangelo carved the hidden, unseen parts of his sculptures with the same care as the parts everyone would see. When asked why, he replied, “Because God can see it.” He was doing his best not for others, but for himself.

When you always do your best, you have no room for self-judgment or regret. You act with integrity, and in that, you find peace.